Forgetting Who I Am

They say anything in life that happens is for a reason

Rip me apart with no words 

Hand cuff yourselves to your dreams

Lose the key

Listen to how your soul screams

SIMPLICITY

God didn’t make us into complex beings

The answer to life is simple

Yet we forget what it means

Simplicity to me

Is a necessity

People don’t understand

What it means

To be free

Freedom isn’t free from

Responsibility

But freedom is a form of

Simplicity

Hand cuff yourselves to your dreams

Lose the key

Listen to how your soul screams

SIMPLICITY

God didn’t make us into complex beings

The answer to life is simple

Yet we forget what it means

 

I’m surrounded by people
With a laid back view
No forcin threes
Here’s a finger roll for two
People talk shit
When they say they don’t give a shit
You better pass that bitch
After you’ve takin your two hits
Man,
How did I get here
My mind replays my life
It’s foggy yet so clear
Pushed into a style
Like pressure from a peer
I turn around to find
That the peer is just the mirror

I got these friends now
And they’re all that I got
But these people love me now
For everything that I’m not

Hey bartender man,
Can I get a fifth
Just listen to my problems
And i’ll promise you a tip
Do you think this bottles big enough
To help my mind forget
I can feel my thoughts fading fast
As my hope loses grip
See the group of people there
That I came in with
They accept this lost soul
And all that it came with
But I’m not happy man
I think joy is some fake shit
I’ve tried everything man
And it’s all of the same shit

I got these friends now
And they’re all that I got
But these people love me now
For everything that I’m not

Showered and clean cut
All suited up
Who I am exposed to them
All rooted up
The bread and water pass me by
This servants remains unclean
Smiles wide across the faces
But mine remains unseen
I try to fit in with them
But they point fingers at my past
Their words peirce deep in my soul
And all I see is their backs
And now my soul is torn in two
Between right and wrong
I don’t fit in with either crowd
I’m not sure where I belong

So i sit upon this fence
Contemplating this mystery…
I’m accepted for who i’m not
And pushed away for who I want to be

You don’t have to look into hate filled eyes today
I do
I have to walk past hand hidden speech
Falling upon another ear about my past

How embarrassing
Who I am
What I’ve done
Everyone thinks they know
Because you told them what you wanted them to hear
So now these gossip filled lips
Smile as I pass
And lie as I fade into the distance
They think I don’t hear them
I do

How embarrassing
My proud shoulders heavy with embarrassment
My shaky hands hidden by the pocket of my jacket

My sad eyes hidden behind hopes of happiness
I try to fade into the land of music
Ipod on full blast
But nothing can blind my eyes from pointing fingers
They point when my back is turned
But these fucking idiots don’t realize there are mirrors in here
I see you
How embarrassing
Imagine the embarrassment
Imagine how I must feel
I was guilty until proven innocent
Where is my freedom?
How embarrassing it is to explain why I owe 2,500 dollars
2,500 dollars thrown away
Innocent was the verdict

So where is my money?

Give it back
He wanted to have you pay my bill

Serve time for a false report

But my hand lay still as my lips mumbled no

No
No because it wasn’t the right thing to do
It might have been justice
But not all justice defines whats right
I suffered
I suffered to be the bigger man
And what do I get in return?
Embarrassment 
And now this innocent boy

Walks past this desk

Still guilty by their eyes

Guilty by everyone’s eyes

Why?

Good question

I’ll never know why

I’ll never know why

I’ll never know why I’m guilty in everyone’s eyes

How embarrassing

How embarrassing that they will never know the truth

The move to Cali will never feel so good

A place I can finally walk around and be anything

But embarrassed

This pain in my stomach
Is the effect of my regrets 
Drinkin a bottle of forget
But I haven’t finished yet 
Thoughts of the past
My heart still upset
As I light up this cigarette
And remember your silhouette 

Damn girl
You’re like sweetest sensation
The thought of your smile is this songs inspiration
Your body is probably the only temptation
Worth every bit
Of eternal damnation
Tu habla espanol
So no need for translation
Le quiero por siempre
Thats not a misinterpretation
If loving you forever was considered an occupation
I’d be the first in line to get my ass an application

This ain’t no pick up line
I’m a thousand miles from you
And given our past
I’ve had a thousand trials with you
But I also know
I’ve had a million smiles with you
And when I do the math
I wanna spend awhile with you 
I can’t change my heart
I just cant swap it
My heart knows who it loves
And I just can’t stop it
I feel like I’m in school
And you’re the only topic
I guess my heart is yours now
Be careful not to drop it

Damn girl
You’re like sweetest sensation
The thought of your smile is this songs inspiration
Your body is probably the only temptation
Worth every bit
Of eternal damnation
Tu habla espanol
So no need for translation
Le quiero por siempre
Thats not a misinterpretation
If loving you forever was considered an occupation
I’d be the first in line to get my ass an application

Sweet soft lips
Bring a sweet soft kiss
And your lips are one target
I promise to never miss
I desire another chance
Let your heart reminisce
You mean so much to me
Here’s a quick list
You’re my..
Perfect balance of perfection
You’re like my savior Jehova
Your heart is full of service
I call you Motorolla
You can call me anything
Even your little Casanova
I’ll be anyone you want  
Even Tycen L. Cordova  

Damn girl
You’re like sweetest sensation
The thought of your smile is this songs inspiration
Your body is probably the only temptation
Worth every bit
Of eternal damnation
Tu habla espanol
So no need for translation
Le quiero por siempre
Thats not a misinterpretation
If loving you forever was considered an occupation
I’d be the first in line to get my ass an application

When my mind releases my intellectual ability
I can tells she’s feelin me

I have her eyes focused on my beliefs

And her thoughts focused on my briefs

But before I go there

Let me tell you how we got here

See I was walking through the mall

Tryin to decide if this new shirt is going to be worth the damage to my checking account

When she walked by she left me with only words of a mime

I stumbled back

And starred at her back

Damn she caught me

I hate it when they catch me

Her fine figure was topped off with a pulled down Red Sox cap

Oh… girls in hats

What is so good about girls in hats?!

I don’t know why they are so sexy..

But this girls love of the Red Sox has turned my head

And honestly… I am a lot of things in this world

But at that moment

I am ANYTHING but a Yankee fan

I followed her into a store to watch her fumble through some racks

I approached her nervously and asked the same question to myself that every guy asks

WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO SAY?

I don’t care if you’re smooth or not

Pimp or not

No guy ever knows how to start a conversation

“Uh.. Nice weather today..”

Little did I know my mumbled sentence was going to get me here

Sitting down across a dinner table from her

A week later

It’s a week cause I had to wait the 3 day period to call

And once you call you have to act like you have better shit to do for 4 days

As if your single ass isn’t dying for a date…

But regardless… a week later

We hang out

And I find myself across a dinner table trying to spill the same bull shit I learned from first dates 101

But what makes me different

Is that I’m a poet

So my words can touch her ear like my tongue will later

My thoughts can entice her mind to open up

So I can see her for who she truly is…

And maybe this time she can touch my mind like no other can

I guess we will see

I guess we will see… What is under that Red Sox cap

When I was told to quit

I was warned not to listen to that shit

I was taught to never stop

When I was told that I can’t succeed

My desire to win turned to greed

I was taught to never stop

So I kept pushing

I kept fighting

I kept fighting against those who oppressed me

I needed to win

I needed to succeed

Coaches loved my desire

I was taught to never stop

Every year I’d push harder

To show those pussys that I have what it takes

I have the heart

I have work ethic

I have the ability to be on top

And I won’t stop til I’m on top

I was taught to never stop

Then….

I soon found my fists were swinging free

I took my hands down to see who I was fighting

But I stood alone

Alone

Addictions took place

A bottle in my hand

A pill in my mouth

My lips slipping lies to any girl that walked by

I turned around for answers

I tried to pull in those who would help me

I searched for a hand

I prayed for an answer

But I heard nothing and saw no one…

What do I do now?

I was taught to never stop

I remember waking in my own puke

Thinking that was the last time

But I have still yet to see hope

A faded view of reality swings by my eyes from time to time

I see in her soul that she loves me

I know she trusts me

She shouldn’t do either

I don’t even trust or love the mirror anymore

Lord, where did you go?

I’m falling so fast
And the one trait that made me so successful 
Is now my biggest downfall
That I will never, ever… stop 

I’m as blank as this page staring back at me
And thats never a good thing
Especially for a writer
My lyrics, a way for me to get away
So without them
I’m unable to be free
I beg for freedom
I beg for freedom
From this prison
I want to break free
I’ve been told that it is me, imprisoning me
How could this be?
Where is my key?
Without it
I’m unable to be free
I beg for freedom
I beg for freedom
I whisper through walls
Begging for help
But I can only hear the other inmates
Digging their own tunnels
And i’m stuck with no shovel
Without it
I’m unable to be free
I beg for freedom
I beg for freedom