I COULD NOT/DID NOT MAKE THIS UP
Ok,
So its 2 am.. I’m a little hungry and can’t sleep.
I get up from my hotel bed and grab my wallet. Head down the stairs to the
bottom floor. Open the door to feel the warm Texas air hit my face. I start my
walk down a slight slope in the road til it levels out at a stop light. I glance both
ways but due to the time there are no cars to be found. I step across the empty
road to the well lit up gas station..
I walk up to the door and walk through as they slide open in front of me..
I walk up to the gatorade and begin to wonder which color i want in my belly.. When
all of a sudden i hear
“My co-worker bailed on me”
I turn around to see a kid standing WAY too close to me.. He was short, fat,
with long red hair pulled back into a pony tail and was wearing a shell Tshirt and
name tag.
“ah that sucks man”
I reply as I try to step back and put some space between us.
he steps closer.
“ya he was supposed to be here at midnight but his grandpa is in the hospital”
“Oh thats too bad, well at least he has a good excuse then”
I turned around to go walk through the candy isle to lose him, but he continues
to follow me.
“I am the manager here” he says
“Oh cool” I awkwardly reply
“ya, i make 8 thousand a month” he brags..
I start walking back to where the drinks are.. he continues to follow me around.
“I have 8 kids”
I look at him.. he’s smiling big right at me.
“wow thats a lot.. how old are you?”
he quickly replies “21″
i roll my eyes at him and say “how is it possible you have 8 kids?”
“Oh, i’ve been married since I was 6″
(thinking he was joking) I kind of laugh and say
“ya right”
he says.. “I WAS, my parents had an arranged marriage”
“oh,” i say “thats different.. is it because of your religion”
he steps even closer..
“no.. my wife is from japan.. her family is a mafia family and my parents are from
Germany. and they too are a mafia family.. they married us as a pact between
the families.. our marriage is a truce to stop the killings..”
I don’t know even how to reply to that.. all that comes out is..
“cool”
he says… “me and my wife have 2 kids.. we adopted the other 6 from her sister
because she and her husband died.”
i grab my drink and turn to head back to the candy isle..
“oh thats terrible” i say..
“ya.. they abandoned their kids at their house.. just left them there.. then
2 weeks later, someone found the husbands head floating down a river..
and they still haven’t found the wives body..”
….”oh..” i say
(thinking.. this kid is full of crap.. but still managing to creep me out)
“ya.. thats what happens when you mess with the family”
i grab my candy and walk to the counter for him to ring me up so i can leave
“i got shot with a gun once.. i was teaching my brother how to shoot and
he accidently fired it and it shot me in the shoulder”
*trying to pull his shirt collar down so i can see
“well.. thats why i don’t mess with guns man, they are dangerous” i say as
i place my stuff on the counter.
“well when you live like i do, you need a gun”
he begins to ring my things up
“where you from”
“utah”
“why are you here”
“playing against the diablos”
“they suck”
i laugh.. “ya we killed them tonight’
he smiles “then i just made ten grand”
i laugh again.. “you bet on the games?”
he kind of puffs out his chest and says
“i bet ten grand every game that they lose, they have only won 2 games
this year.. i’ve won over half a million dollars”
(me, knowing that el paso is 21-30 start laughing hysterically..)
he ignores me and says
“what do i care.. i have the money”
I pay for my stuff and burst out laughing..
i can’t help but think
A. This kid looks way too much like Gimley from lord of the rings
*A-1 he also resembles a young corless… and corless is not
a common name in the mafia.. trust me.. i’ve watched the Sopranos
B. he tried telling me he has 8 kids and is in the mafia
C. He says he makes 96k a year working at a gas station
and D.. lets say for arguments sake that you do gamble on
the games and you did win half a million so far..
what the hell are you doing working night shift at the shell in
El Paso TX?
ROFL..
BEST TRIP TO A GAS STATION EVER
I’m thinking of heading back and asking for 5 grand since i helped
beat that team tonight..
i deserve half right?
