Positively Never Good Enough
Will I ever be good enough?
This question has damaged me over the years to the point of quiet desperation. I have been raised by two great people.. I remind you that they are great people because I don’t want you to take what I’m about to say out of context..
See, my parents rarely praised me.. If I ever did good, it was “expected” of me.. But when I did something wrong.. they were very quick to point the finger at my fault. It seemed like nothing I ever did was good enough for them.
If I went 3 for 4.. I should have went 4 for 4.. If I went 4 for 4.. I should have hit 4 home runs.. If I hit a home run.. it should have went farther..
Get my point?
This line of thinking.. that nothing is good enough.. has pushed me in positive and negative ways.. Positively… I find myself constantly pushing to be better. Some kids think I am crazy when I train.. I think I don’t train hard enough.
But I also see this trait effect me in negative ways.. I see the tole that it takes on my relationships.. I have seen hearts break behind tear filled eyes.. I have seen my own life become worthless.. and full of work.. with no glory..
It’s like teaching a dog to sit with a treat you will never give him..
How long before the dog just figures.. Why even bother?
I’ve come to realize that no matter how hard I work.. I’m never good enough.. I haven’t been good enough to be stable in anything.. not good enough for baseball.. for my family.. I’m not even good enough for a stable relationship.
Feel special if you don’t know me or have distanced yourself from my existence.. because as we all know.. something that is unstable.. has to.. one day..
Crumble
Posted by
at
09:21:25
You ARE good enough! I can relate though because often times I feel that way! Things will work out because you are a great person! Try and remember that!
Wow I know exactly how you feel. But iv learned over the years that its just easier to give up then to try and keep pushing myself to my breaking point. I have depression from my situations like this, my parents have never thought that I was good enough. I feel like everone thinks that im just the gurl who is lazy but im NOT… I strive to be the best at everything but it tears at me like a bear tearing at my skin trying to rip me open. I hope that things work out for you.
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