Forgetting Who I Am

A friend wrote something to me today…
She asked me a good question…
She asked me if i write what i write.. because i want people who were or are like me.. to know, they aren’t alone..
The answer is simple.. Yes.
To this day I do not know what would become of me if i didn’t have a few people in my life..
……I don’t know how many times i’ve felt alone… and being alone is one of the worst feelings someone can have.
We have all felt it. It eats at you. Tells you that you aren’t good enough. Strong enough. Smart enough… Its a disease that gets inside you and can only be cured by company of laughter.

Over the weekend i watched a show.. “Into the Wild”
If any of you have seen it, its a great show. If you haven’t seen it.. go get it now..
A boy gets out of the world and into the wilderness.. away from everything and everyone.. I think its a great way to find out who you are.. his dislike for money and material things was healthy.. but his view of relationships was anything but..
At the end he writes something amazing..
He says..
Happiness only means something if its shared…
Those words hit me bigtime..
I have started this book in hopes to let people out there.. like me.. who struggle with finding who they are.. know that they AREN’T alone..
Cause sometimes… thats how you just feel.. you can’t help it.. but hopefully my words can change that.

I’ve wanted my book to hit people deep in their heart.. in dark places they have never wanted to talk about.. all the way to light places that they wish they could scream to the world.
I pray that you aren’t alone..
But if you ever feel that way.. just know, that Tag is right there with ya

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…………

I just got some horrible news.. and I don’t know who to turn to.
I have never done this before.. but I really don’t know what else to do.. So here I go..

My brother just got in a really bad accident. I am BEGGING whoever reads this to please pray for him. His name is Jason PoVey. He is my hero.. My inspiration.. My best friend..  and most of all.. my brother.

He lives all the way across the world in So. Korea so talking to him is hard.. but from what I understand he needs some surgerys and he is not doing well at all..

Please.. I beg you.. whether you know me or not.. like me or not.. whether you believe in god, buddha or alah.. i beg you.. please ask that he will be ok..

Please pray.. 
I’m not sure what else to do… i’m so scarred.. please help…

Please..

Her hand slowly glances across her face as her finger tips glide her hair to rest behind her ear. She giggles into her morning coffee, and as her lips are tasting her morning fix, her mind is stuck on the local newspaper that is set before her.
As she finishes her cup and grabs her keys her mind wanders to her old home. She can still smell the country air, clean, pure, the sounds of the wind through her chimes ring clear in her memory. How she misses that place, how she misses her father.
It’s been 12 years now since he passed.
She remembers sitting in the living room with him, unwrapping her favorite candy while they both watch the evening programs. Memorys like that were too much like a commercial and almost perfect enough to paint on a postcard. She turns up the corner of her mouth as she recalls his funny questions and games that they would play on the way to school in order to pass the time. To this day no one can beat her at “name that tune.”
As she begins to unlock her car door, her bare ring finger reminds her that the only thing that will miss her as shes as work, is Teddy,  her pet fish. She opens her door and sits down in her car. She grabs her rear view mirror and twists it til she can look into her own eyes.
Moments turn to seconds as she deeply evaluates the image in the mirror. She knows the answers to all her own questions but she refuses to aknowlege the problem.  Silence fills the car until she reaches her destination. She looks back into her mirror and mumbles a sentance of encouragement.
She wishes she could go back. She misses her old room and working in the garden.
“Why” she asks out loud…
“You’re such an idiot” she mumbles as she glances one last time in the mirror..
Her hand hesitantly opens her door, she steps out, and begins to walk away. Above her remains a cloud of doubt lined in regret.
As she stumbles into her 9 to 5.. She sighs with a sound of desperation…
I guess when you try too hard to pursue a life, life just passes you by..