Forgetting Who I Am

You don’t have to look into hate filled eyes today
I do
I have to walk past hand hidden speech
Falling upon another ear about my past

How embarrassing
Who I am
What I’ve done
Everyone thinks they know
Because you told them what you wanted them to hear
So now these gossip filled lips
Smile as I pass
And lie as I fade into the distance
They think I don’t hear them
I do

How embarrassing
My proud shoulders heavy with embarrassment
My shaky hands hidden by the pocket of my jacket

My sad eyes hidden behind hopes of happiness
I try to fade into the land of music
Ipod on full blast
But nothing can blind my eyes from pointing fingers
They point when my back is turned
But these fucking idiots don’t realize there are mirrors in here
I see you
How embarrassing
Imagine the embarrassment
Imagine how I must feel
I was guilty until proven innocent
Where is my freedom?
How embarrassing it is to explain why I owe 2,500 dollars
2,500 dollars thrown away
Innocent was the verdict

So where is my money?

Give it back
He wanted to have you pay my bill

Serve time for a false report

But my hand lay still as my lips mumbled no

No
No because it wasn’t the right thing to do
It might have been justice
But not all justice defines whats right
I suffered
I suffered to be the bigger man
And what do I get in return?
Embarrassment 
And now this innocent boy

Walks past this desk

Still guilty by their eyes

Guilty by everyone’s eyes

Why?

Good question

I’ll never know why

I’ll never know why

I’ll never know why I’m guilty in everyone’s eyes

How embarrassing

How embarrassing that they will never know the truth

The move to Cali will never feel so good

A place I can finally walk around and be anything

But embarrassed