Forgetting Who I Am

The other day I heard someone say, “if you don’t support our President and our troops you are un-American.”

Ok… get ready for angry Tycen to make his presence be felt.

Un-American? Are you shitting me? Has the country seriously started to be THIS brain washed?  I don’t care if you’re Democrat, Republican, Independent or if you could give a shit less… YOU have the right to an opinion.

I remember a couple years back the Dixie Chicks got a bad wrap for saying, “Just so you know, we’re ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas,” Hell, Natalie, I’ll take your words even farther. I’M ASHAMED HE’S THE PRESIDENT OF THIS COUNTRY, I’M ASHAMED OUR CITIZENS ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO VOTE SUCH A DUMB ASS INTO OFFICE AND I’M ASHAMED TO BE AN AMERICAN.

I don’t care who hears me, I don’t care if the FBI puts me under investigation (for those of you who know the story… lol.. for those of you that don’t… I’ll post later)

Being an American should mean what it ment when this country began, BACK WHEN WE HAD BRAINS OPPERATING OUR GOVERNMENT.  The writers of the constitution didn’t want followers, they didn’t want to build a brain washed society, they wanted a country to govern itself, they wanted new ideas and new ways to do things to come to the front on a constant basis. They made the constitution open for change, they were smart enough to know that they didn’t know everything; that’s the beauty of our country is that WE  as a people should be making the decisions. But, slowly the government has just about stripped all those rights away.  When are we going to unite and take that freedom back? Freedom of choice is our strongest freedom, regardless of what side you’re on, you should be concerned with our lack of freedoms today.

Our President isn’t an elected king, he’s not an Emperor, a ruler or a god, he’s the SERVANT of the people elected BY the people… I think America has forgotten that.

America is about ideas, I think if we follow people blindly then we are going against who we are supposed to become as a nation. Go out, make up a new idea, make it known, have a opinion and don’t let people change that. Your beliefs are WHO you are, don’t let someone tell you differently. Read, talk, and study the topic and then make a decision on where you stand. Don’t let George Bush or the news or your next door neighbor tell you that you aren’t American for not supporting America’s decisions.

The war is stupid, George Bush is a moron and I’m counting down the days til he is released from office. (718 days 15 hours 44 min… if ya don’t believe me look it up)

I don’t care if you disagree with me I’M HAPPY IF YOU DO.. that’s what America is all about.

I wish some people would grow some damn balls and be proud to be different. Quit following your parents, friends and the news, get your own opinion and hold it close to you… quit being a sheep and divert yourself from the flock.

Cause personally, in my opinion, if you follow leaders blindly and hand over all your rights to give them more power… I don’t think I’M THE ONE who is being UN-American. 

Makes me laugh

You’re readin words of a hypocrite

Funny how I inspire you

By writin lines of shit

You listen to me

Like an abused girl in a relationship

Believin me

Is like trustin Michael Jackson to baby sit

Where are you?

What am I supposed to do now??

I can’t call this life

As I gladly bow out

Pollute this earth

With my sin filled mouth

My heart shattered now

I forget my broken vows

Forgotten promises

Better off not remembered

Nights still sleepless

Since last December

You think I have it all?

Think I’ve got it so easy?

But you don’t know shit

Cause nothing’s what you see

You see little blue eyed Ty

Who rides through life for free

But I paint on my smile

And you can’t tell which is me

I know you don’t care

But these blue eyes do cry

These blue eyes shed tears

Til these blue eyes run dry

These blue eyes have seen

Too much in this life

These blue eyes haven’t forgotten

That terrible night

These blue eyes lost light

These blue eyes have seen friends

Turn their backs on me

To never turn back again

So you call this life?

The earth plagued with phonies

Now this servant of god

Has been stripped of his testimony

Living my life

Like a faithless preacher

This love can be held

But my heart cannot reach her

So you still sit there

Readin my bullshit

My poetry, my words

My lines, lyrics, my spit

Do my letters fit?

Maybe a little bit?

Tightly wound together

Like an infielders mit

Do you believe me yet?

Or are ya ready to turn the page?

My writing is about as important

As an actor without a stage

I ask you again

So you call this life?……………………

Cause I don’t

He’s arguably the smartest person I know.. I listen with much respect when he speaks and his words mean the world to me. He’s my brother, Jason.

Jason laid on his hospital bed getting surgery on his pelvic bone, which, needless to say, ended his future as a football player. When my dad asked him what he was going to do with his life my brother looked up at him and said, “I’m going to go to law school.”

We all laughed. I laughed. I thought it must have been the drugs, but not too much later he was getting the results of the LSAT and the numbers quieted the laughter of our family. Before I go on, Jason wasn’t dumb by any means. He was just someone who was a 3.0 student his whole life.. Nothing flashy, he wasn’t up for valedictorian, he never got a sterling scholar award. Just cruised through high school and college.. but the moment he wanted to take the LSAT, he found himself in the top 3 percent in the nation. He chose Thomas Jefferson Law School in San Diego, California . Not a bad place to practice law..

When he graduated from there he walked out with many ropes around his neck and the honor and respect from all his professors.. not to mention the respect he got from his little brother.. what he did was  nothing short of amazing.

I’ll save time and skip to the present day. He’s not a lawyer, he’s never in an office,  he doesn’t ever wear a shirt and tie. He doesn’t deal with judges, attorney’s, criminals or other assholes that are found in the justice system. No, if you want to find my brother you go to a small restaurant in Moab called Eddie McStiffs. My brother works all night.. goes home to his tent.. no electricity, no tv, no rent, no bills, just him and nature.

He reads all day, not garbage magazine or books written by rich assholes with no view on what life is, no, he reads arts from Edward Abbey and                         . My brother’s mind is pure. Undiluted from what society tells him he should think, Jason’s mind is free. 

Today we went on a bike ride. I got up ahead where I couldn’t hear anything but what god had put on this earth. Birds, bugs, wind, it was all there.. and soon I found myself at a fork with no knowledge of where to go. I sat my bike down and sat on the fork and just starred at the mountains in front of me; what a gorgeous view it was. It was then I caught myself thinking, I could do what Jason is doing in a heartbeat. How good it felt to get away from my warm house, my tv, my computer and my loud Ipod. Honestly, it felt good.. it probably should feel good, that is my roots, that is where I came from. As much as humans try to pack things around them, they can’t ever deny where they came from. We are all part of nature and nature is part of us. My brother’s attempts to get back to his roots have caught my attention. I’d love to do something like that. He asked me to travel with him down to Mexico for two months where we’d just travel around and bike ride. How amazing would that be.. I had to decline because I am currently training for the 2008 season.. but how much I would love to do that. Not just to spend time with my brother with no worries, rules, schedules or plans.. but just to rewind my mind to remind it where I came from.

This was written out of respect for you bro. I respect what you’re doin, who you’re tryin to become and what you believe. I wish I could help, but I know you understand I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do. Do me a favor, don’t change for anybody, raise your middle finger to those who refuse to understand you and lend a hand to those who respect you. Be safe. Be you.  In that order…

And enjoy the best trip I never got to go on…