Forgetting Who I Am

Sometimes my heart is speechless

And my mind surrenders in defeat

But then my lips play a trick

And my heart begins to speak

It’s like my mind try’s to stop
But my lips spring a leak
And this water rushes quickly

And my meaning runs deep

I’ll never finish

These unfinished dreams

They move on with my past behind

Pulling me somewhere in-between

Life’s worth something

When you’ve got something to live for

But if there is nothing down this road

Why should I travel anymore?

I mean..

It’s hard to believe in yourself

When no one else does

It’s hard to do your best

When you don’t know what you’re capable of

This absence of love

From he who’s above

Above the concept that when push comes to shove
Shove returns to love

But for you..

Shove comes to hit

Hit comes to abuse

Abuse comes to feelin like you don’t have a use

Useless is something

That doesn’t serve a purpose

A person with no purpose is obviously worthless

Remember when you believed?

A belief based on faith

Faith said “be patient”

But you just couldn’t wait

You wait upon your thoughts

But thoughts must contemplate

Tick tick went the time

And now you’re too late

So as this dream of mine begins to die
I do realize there’s no good in goodbye

So do us both a favor
You can replace all your lies

By replacing the good with just the bye

And keep those eyes dry

Sorry.. most of the time i try to post things that are inspirational, poetic or even somewhat funny (well at least i THINK it’s funny)

But i’m a little pumped up right now.. figured i’d share some news with those who are close to me (yes if you know this site you are close to me)
I just got an email from some guy who is the head of all international baseball.. he offered me to go play professional baseball this summer in Australia. He said they take care of everything.. Money.. Room.. food.. transportation.. the whole deal.. he even said they include a trip to The Great Barrier Reef where the whole team will spend the weekend on the beach and even have a day where they all go scuba diving…
I figured i’d tell everyone now.. so maybe ya’ll can take a vacation and i can get some fans!

If you can’t make it out.. wish me luck! ok.. with that aside.. now i have to go back and focus on winning the world series…  peace

I honestly think that I, more than anyone one else that reads this, believes that my prayers go unanswered. I remember as a kid getting down to pray and feeling like i was actually talking to somone, feeling as if my prayers were going straight to god. Then, on my mission i felt as if god was standing next to me as i knelt down, i don’t know how many times i asked for things on my mission and would recieve them right away, it was truely an amazing experience. but now, maybe i feel as if the only thing i talk to is the ceiling. Maybe its the loud world, maybe its satan telling me prayer is pointless or maybe its just my own thoughts creeping slowly into my head that god has better things to do and more important people to listen to. 

Over xmas i was given a book by my father, the book titled “when your prayers seem unanswered”  i didn’t say anything at the time of opening the gift.. but the only thing i could think was “dad, you read my mind”

I read the book in the span of about 2 hours. The book answered so many of my questions, so i decided to write this blog to maybe touch a couple hearts that are looking for answers to their prayers..

For those of you who know the story about the apostles in the boat when the water starts to rise and the waves start crashing down on them… just for a moment, think of that story..  when the waves start crashing the men immediately start calling out for Jesus to help them. They called and called.. then the bible says that Jesus finally comes in the fourth watch… well.. what is the fourth watch? 
In the old times a day was divded into 12 hour periods. at 6am when the sun came up was the beginning of the day and at 6pm it was the beginning of the night. The night was divided into 4 watches. from 6 to 9, 9 to 12, 12 to 3 and 3 to 6. the Watchman was supposed to warn anyone of anthing that was going to happen, weather or war…
So back to the story.. the apostles are on this boat begging for Jesus to help them out but Jesus doesn’t show up til the fourth watch.. and when he shows up he calms the water and saves the men from a sure death.
Thats how god works, he ALWAYS will come in the fourth watch. At the end of our darkest hour.. just before we think the wave is going to crash down upon us, he shows up and calms the water. We, being in the Fast food, quick pay, fast lane, quick and easy society all want god to be the first watch god… but honestly, if we all got what we wanted right away.. what would we ever learn? My dad once told me that you never learn anything by doing something right. I couldn’t agree more, and i believe that line of thinking goes hand in hand with gods plan. He knows we screw up and we are going to get ourselves in the dumbest situations that he is going to have to come bail us out of… but he kind of lets it soak in, lets us get burned when we play with fire, because if you never get burned, how will you ever know that fire is dangerous?
The book goes on to explain in more and more detail, answering all the questions you might have, so i refuse to go on and i will tell you all to go out and buy the book. it has a lot of quotes from the book of mormon so if some of you don’t understand as you read.. you know how to reach me!

I guess in a way i was in my fourth watch about why my prayers were unanswered.. and now that i got this book i understand that they are… i just have to see it for myself..