I smile…
I don’t smile cause i’m happy, my smile is more of a smile of confusion. I wear this confused smile cause I don’t understand you. I see the way you wake up in the morning and worry about what you are going to wear. You check the newest magazines to see what is in style to make sure you don’t wear something that is “so last season.” Your nails are nicely manicured to sweet perfection and your hair looks like you are on your way to the prom. But you aren’t going to a dance, you’re going to the post office.. but you don’t care cause everyday is a beauty pagent and everywhere you walk is a run-way. You trade in your cell phone every 6 months because you don’t have the latest model. You need the finest leather in your car, the finest silk on your bed and the finest cloth to touch your skin at all times. Just any make up isn’t good enough. $700 for a make up kit will do the trick. You talk about your money like you’ve worked maunal labor for 75 years and saved every penny. But your smooth hands show no signs of work. Work means sweat. And you hate to sweat. You never have to cause everything in your life has been handed to you. If you need it.. daddy is there with his wallet.. if you want it, just use mommy’s plastic money.
You know what.. now that i think about it… i smile cause i see right through you. No fancy clothes, make up or jewelry can cover my eyes from seeing the truth. You can’t hide behind your BMW or fake boobs. Not only can i see you… i see RIGHT through you. I see what you are afraid of everyone else seeing. I see your insecure about being alone. I see you are scared of working for something cause you are afraid of failing. I see that the reason you always need something new is because you can never be satisfied with what you already have. I see you’re bright but hide it behind stupid quesitons cause you think guys like that. To me, you don’t know who you are or what you want. You are so stuck on what you think everyone else wants, you lose one of the greatest gifts god gave us. The gift to be an individual.
If it were up to me… i’d strip you from your house, car, clothes, jewlry, cell phone, afternoon latee and definetly get you away from that group of vultures that you call “friends”
And i’d stick you alone… all by yourself… in the mountains. Lost… alone… cold. The only thing i’d leave you with is this notebook and this pen. I’d tell you to write what you believe is important. I’d have you write what you would do when you got to saftey. I’d have you write what you want to do and who you want to be.
This book would begin with you saying how you need your diet coke and a shower. you need your cell phone and need a new pair of clean clothes. how you need your $5,000 bed and your nails done.
I wouldn’t expect it to change over night.. but trust me… within time.. that book will begin talking about the most important thing in the world. Family.
You would begin saying how you miss your moms voice in the morning. How you won’t complain anymore about your dads burnt pancakes. How you miss the way your dad would kiss your forehead and tell you he loved you before you went to sleep. You missed fighting with your little brother over the remote. And you miss the times when eveyone got together as a family…
i promise you… when you start to write this… i’ll take you back to your house and give you everything you once had before.. but something will happen.. you’ll give it all back and tell me you don’t need it… and you will tell me what i’m trying to tell you…
“Life isn’t about BEING important… It’s about WHAT’S important.”
And when those wise words leak through your lips… I’ll finally smile because i’m happy.
