Forgetting Who I Am

“Wake up!” His mom yelled as she flipped on the light and opened the door. “You have a lot to do today.” Dax rolled over, “I AM up.”  He rubbed his eyes and sat up. His mom was right, he had a lot to do. He had to pack up EVERYTHING he had ever owned; for in two short days, he was off to college. It hadn’t really hit him that he was leaving, he just knew he was FINALLY able to get out of the house and do what he wanted. No more curfew, no one to tell him to stop playin loud music and he could eat whatever he wanted. Yes, it truely was a time of freedom, and he couldn’t wait til that day. He walked down stairs to see his little brother, Sam, sitting at the counter eating breakfast. He opened up the cubboards to see all the golden grams were gone. He turned with a death stare to his brother, “where in the hell are all the golden grams?”
“Ummm… ” Sam hesitated, “this is the last bowl.”
A grunt came from Dax as he shut the cubboard door. Thats how his life has gone for 18 years. He always seemed to be a buck short, a day late. He was sick of getting whatever was left to him, in this case it was Raisen Bran, Dax hated raisens. He grabbed a bagel and went back up stairs. As he opened his door, he stared at the mess that he called his room. On a good day you could catch a glimps of the floor; but for the most part it was covered by clothes, books he never read and other items that he managed to add to his collection of garbage over the years. He would normally shove his mess under his bed, but ever since his bed broke while he was doing WWF moves on his little brother, he’s only had a mattress on the ground. As Dax sat on his bed the look on his face was a dead give away to his thoughts. He had no clue where to start. He reached onto the ground and picked up a picture, It was of his family in the Uintahs. The Uintahs was a mountain range not far from his house where his family would spend a lot of there summers; hiking and backpacking. He smiled, he loved that trip; he took a bite of his bagel as he began to recall his memories….

We take off early.. not too early.. but early enough in the morning when you can still see your breath. Not a cloud in the sky.. good, real good.. looks like its going to be a beautiful day. Bob Marley blasts through the stock speakers of the Tahoe as we pull up to the trail..  Pedal around to get the blood flowin.. wow its been awhile. But just like they say.. you never forget how to ride. The journey begins.. Ok, pops.. i’ll follow you.  Now only sounds of nature infiltrate our minds.. My mind like a vagabond as my body takes over. It knows what to do.. it has done it so many times before… body on auto piolot as my soul searches..
I drift to the unknown
Tryin to break what’s set in stone
The stars unreachable
The ignorant unteachable
Who i’ll be when i’m fully grown
Come on old man.. push.. i’m right here. Come on dad.. Together, us vs. Nature. Or rather.. us vs. ourselves.. how much pain can you endure? will you quit? you out of breath yet? My legs begin to weaken and my mind shifts to what my body wants.. my body speaks.. let me rest, put your foot down.. let me rest. My mind kicks around the alternative then speaks loudly
Breathe
Turn
Push
Push
Never quit
Push
Quotes from the past ring true.. i use them as fuel to keep pushing
“Don’t give up, don’t ever give up”
“The heights by great men reached and kept were not obtained by sudden flight. But they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.”
“You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make.”
“The chief cause of failure, in life, is giving up what you want most; for what you want at the moment.”
My eyes zero in on the task at hand as i continue my labor.  With my father leading the way.. watching how he takes on the trials of the trail helps me understand an easier way.. a smoother ride.. Soon, the goal is reached.. a smile from my dad confirms my hard work. Good work son… that is the sound every boy begs to hear..Fill my lungs with joy and take a sip of success.. back to the beginning.. back where we started.. as if we have gone no where.. but the trail that led us back to where we began, helped me proceed on a trail I have yet to conquer.

I see you Tycen
As I look at you I see one thing
Tycen, you’re weak
The tear on your cheek
Means shit
You aren’t fooling anyone
But yourself
Which isn’t hard to do
You’re a lost cause Tycen
Your loyalty is gone
Honesty has never known you
Your strength as a child was a caring heart
That stopped beating years ago
You complain you’ve never known a good girl
Yet it’s your imperfections that drive them away
Your veiw on life plagues your soul
A careless, thoughtless view on life
Tycen,  you’re weak
Maybe if your mouth wasn’t quicker than your mind
You’d shut the hell up
And learn something
But no…
You’ve broken hearts
Destroyed feelings
Because you’re always right
Aren’t you Tycen… Aren’t you
Your begging to God goes unnoticed
He knows you’re weak
He’s given up on you
Tycen, you’re weak
Say uncle
Throw in the towel
Quit Tycen
That’s the only thing you’re good at
Isn’t it Tycen… isn’t it
Hmmm… lets see
School
Football
Church
Family
Relationships
Hell you even had a great mission going
Yet you managed to fuck that up too
Do the world a favor
Go find a sharp razor
And a main vain
You’re fuckin hopeless
Hopeless Tycen… hopeless

Most of the time on the back of the book or within the first couple pages you have the opportunity to “read about the author” If you’ve ever read about an author… its boring.. i went to Harvard, i graduated with honors.. blah blah blah.. ya.. its lame.. many of you know that a lot of the stuff i write on this web site will be in the book i’m putting together.. its going to be a whole different style of writing, there is going to be a story line going on as well as events from my life and poetry that relate to the story in the book… its hard to explain but i know how its going to look.. it will be different and i think it will draw a lot of new people since its a different style. Anyway since my style is going to be different..  i figure i won’t bore people with lame details of my life… my “about the author” will REALLY tell you who i am.. here it is….

I am Tycen PoVey
I love sports, i think sometimes showering is overrated, math used to be easy to me til i refused to do it, i started playing the guitar about five years ago, i hate george bush, i love any kind of music as long as the lyrics mean something, i almost quit baseball to play soccer, my parents are hippies, regardless of what i tell you… i suck at football, i’ve never seen star wars, i’ve traveled to over 35 states, anytime there is karyoke i’ll sing “the joker” by stever miller band, i don’t wear glasses, although i pee standing up.. when i’m at a girls house i’ll pee sitting down so i don’t make any noise, i’m addicted to the internet, when i was 10 i memorized the entire movie of “home alone” word for word and can still recite it to this day, my nick name is tag, i couldn’t beat up my sister til i was almost 16, i love my last name, in 6th grade sterling alo pulled OFF my pants in front of my crush, i love traditions, i think blood is cool but i can’t stand watching any kind of surgery, i once threw a pencil at my little brother and it stuck in his eye, i rarely back down from dares, people always tell me i look like Mark Whalberg, i’m not a picky eater, midgets are funny… clowns scare me.. and for some reason midget clowns are WAY scarier than anything..  i love magic tricks, i have a heart condition called Vaso Vagal Syncopy, Terrell Owens bugs me, in high school my friends called me “tank” due to the size of my ass, i prefer tall girls, when i was 4 i was almost kidnapped… the police were involved and everything, i have been arrested.. and 495 dollars and 6 hours later i got out, when i was 3 i had my hand closed in a waffle maker while it was on, i like doing yoga, girls look best when wearing hats, i NEVER back from a fight, i’m still debating if man landed on the moon… or if its all a big conspiracy, i have a reaccuring dream that a ball of yarn chases me from my buddy’s house to mine, i have 7 different personalities… one of which is named Tardo, it bugs me when a towl is hanging and the front doesn’t hang as low as the back, i’ll spend more time looking for the remote then i will actually watching tv, i wear hats cause i HATE doing my hair, i belive in ghosts.. i’ve seen them